Fools For Love
by Amarin Rose
Summary: Pairing: Lyle–Brainy :Unrelated oneshots: 12: Brainy can't figure out Lyle. 13: An M–PREG mix–up. 14: Brainy's birthday is December 30th. 15: 20 facts about Brainy. 16: Lyle's got a question for Querl. 17: Lyle gets sick. Brainy cares for him.
1. Stellar Seduction

**Stellar Seduction**

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Rating: PG-15  
Summary: Cosmic Boy had the bright idea of giving Brainy an infusion of Coluan sunlight to 'perk him up.' However, as Coluans are descended from plants, this has a rather unexpected side effect concerning Brainy's lover, Lyle Norg.  
Notes: Hemoglobin is what makes human blood red. Chlorophyll is what makes Earth plants green. Since Coluans are green, I am extrapolating that they evolved from plants, and therefore have the Colu equivalent of chlorophyll in their bloodstream instead of hemoglobin. And as they evolved from plants, they would, naturally, have a bit of a **different** reaction to the sun than humans…

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"What the fuck were you thinking!" Lyle demanded for the eighth time that evening.

Cosmic Boy finally managed to muster enough to courage to squeak out an answer, "I was only trying to **help**!" He had, however, not managed to attain his usual level of bluster. Why was he defending himself to his **third** in command, anyway?

"By doing…this!" Lyle gestured with frantic helplessness back at the doors to Querl's quarters. His exhaustion and frustration both combined to make him loose hold of his invisibility momentarily, and his fingers flickered in and out as they waved back and forth.

Cosmic Boy's eyes widened.

Oh, right. Because Invisible Kid was sprocking **scary** when he was pissed.

"Shadow Lass said Brainy was looking a little peaked, and Mon-El said that **he** sometimes got like that – and his powers waned – when he hadn't been exposed to the something akin to the radiation of the Earth sun – a yellow giant," Cosmic Boy said in a rush, "and I thought that maybe creating a light source like that of Colu's sun – a green giant – for his lab would make Brainy…perk up a bit." He shrugged and pleaded with whatever deity looked out for Legionnaires for Lyle not to kill him.

"Perk up a **bit**?" Lyle seethed, his blond hair flopping messily over his forehead – what of it wasn't plastered to his head with sweat and…other bodily fluids…that was.

"I – Sun Boy may have…miscalculated the dosage of solar rays," Cosmic Boy replied, so rattled he almost gave himself away as the guilty culprit. Dirk **had** helped him figure out the calculations needed to replicate Colu's sun, but **he** had been the one to create the light bulbs – and determine the strength of the rays they emitted.

Lyle's eyes narrowed and he glared at his 'commanding officer' – commanding his own ego, more than the team – with fury. "It wouldn't matter what size the dosage was, Rokk," Lyle hissed. "Even a little bit of direct solar rays – without any sufficient warning and/or preparation time – would have caused this reaction. You see, according to Querl's biological clock, it is now spring on Colu."

"Spring?" Cosmic Boy asked, obviously clueless.

"Coluans are descended from plants," Lyle explained with barely-restrained impatience. He was no practically spitting his words out. "Plants that evolved into sentient beings who, despite their highly advanced intellect, are still subject their baser impulses – on an annual cycle. Spring is basically **mating** season," he finished with a pointed glare at Cosmic Boy's reddening face.

Even Cosmic Boy's sixth-level intellect was high enough that he could piece that together. But he couldn't have heard what he thought he'd heard. He just **couldn't**. "What?"

"Your little overdose of sunshine has driven my lover into a mating cycle," Lyle stated bluntly.

Cosmic Boy made a very undignified sound at the mental images. He opened his mouth to…do **something**…but was interrupted by the sight in front of his eyes.

A very horny Coluan – body flushed a deeper, and most **interesting** shade of green, Cosmic Boy noted absently with the part of his mind not horrified by the sight – suddenly wrapped himself around Lyle from behind. Nuzzling Lyle's obviously willing ear, Brainy purred, "Come back to **bed**, Lyle…"

Lyle sighed with patently false resignation, though his 'enthusiasm' was waning, and slow to rise to the occasion. "This is the **last** time today, Querl; I need to **sleep**."

"Why? When there are so many much better things to do?" Brainy asked. Then, grinning wickedly, he added, "Over and over and over again."

Cosmic Boy's gulp was echoed by Lyle's own expression of muted terror. Turning back to Cosmic Boy, Lyle hissed, "Fix this **now**, Rokk! I'm only human and I can't take much more of him!" He whimpered in terror, and then moaned helplessly as bright green fingers twisted his left nipple sharply while sharp white teeth bit at the juncture of his neck and ear. He slumped almost bonelessly into Querl's arms and went with him willingly, if anxiously, as he was tugged inside their shared quarters.

Cosmic Boy gaped as he watched the doors to Brainy's rooms sweep shut behind the two men. It was only now he realized that Lyle hadn't been wearing a shirt – or pants – underneath his robe. And Brainy…

Well, Nura would be pleased to know that her hypothesis about Brainy's ports being 'all over' was correct. Not that Rokk would **ever** tell her, since then he'd have to come up with a reason for how he'd **know**.

Cosmic Boy gulped, turned on his heel, and strode calmly down the hall like he wasn't more rattled than the time he'd accidentally walked in on Shrinking Violet and Timberwolf in the gym…and then gave it up for a lost cause and sprocking **ran** like he was fleeing for his life down the hall towards the monitor room for his shift. He'd be early to relieve Sun Boy, but this way he'd be able to send Dirk to replace the green light bulbs.

But Cosmic Boy resolved to keep this tidbit of information in mind the next time that Tasmia complained that Brainy needed to get laid. And he was going to make sure Sun Boy did **not** get rid of those special light bulbs.

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THE END


	2. Something That Never Happened

**Something That Never Happened To Lyle And Brainy**

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Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Gar Logan is annoying, Lyle Norg is pissed, and Querl Dox is…not acting like his usual rude, emotionless self.  
Notes: Set during the Titans/Legion crossover series, right after the scene where Gar calls Lyle 'Headband Lad!' and Lyle gets all pissy and says, "Should we just all wear nametags, would that help?"  
And, as the Titans/Legion crossover series was right before the Legion got rebooted (yet **again**), that means that none of this ever happened…

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"'Headband Lad'!" Lyle Norg snarled for the fourth time in as many minutes (the sixteenth time in the past four hours), storming into his quarters. "I'm not even the only one in the Legion who wears a headband." He yanked the offending article from his head, allowing his blond hair to flop around his face fetchingly. "And how hard **is** it to remember that I can turn invisible?" he demanded. "Changeling doesn't go around calling Cosmic Boy '**Metalhead**'!"

Querl Dox, following on his friend's heels, could only roll his eyes at Lyle's back. Once the doors swished silently shut behind him, he said, "Invisible Kid, while I do empathize with you on Mr. Logan's inability to remember our code names, I would remind you that 'Headband Lad' is hardly the most demeaning of nomenclatures you could have been the recipient of." He paused a beat, and added, "And considering how much of your time you spend practicing your invisibility, it's no wonder that eventually, people might fail to remember pertinent information about you."

Lyle whirled on his friend, eyes wide, face almost slack-jawed with disbelief. "Brainy, did you just make a…joke?" he asked with patently false incredulity.

Raising one blond brow, Querl said dryly, "I suppose it would depend upon one's perspective on humor. Yours is decidedly juvenile."

Lyle snorted. "As opposed to yours, which is twelve levels of maturity above the rest of us poor plebeians?" he asked, arching his own eyebrow.

Querl just bared his teeth sharply in that little half-smile of his that could mean anything from, 'Why must I be **surrounded** by idiots?' to, 'I'm thinking of all the different ways I could make your life hell for annoying me, and I can't see an end in sight.'

Lyle always got turned on by that smirk. He had a feeling that wasn't exactly healthy, but it was by far the least problematic of his personal issues. Seeing that he wasn't going to win this argument, Lyle performed a less-than-deft change of subject. "So how difficult do you think it would be to get most of the Legion to wear nametags to the next meeting with our time-displaced colleagues?"

Querl not only didn't even blink at the non-sequitur, but he also had a ready answer. "Twenty-five percent of the Legion would go along with your request if you asked them, but I calculate that you'd only be able to convince another seventeen percent without a direct order." Left unsaid was that Lyle **couldn't** order them to wear nametags; Querl had finally stopped stating the obvious 'for the benefit of less intelligent minds' – at least to Lyle.

Lyle was pretty sure that **that** shouldn't turn him on, either. "Forty-two percent wouldn't be enough to get my point across," he said, sighing mock-mournfully.

"You mean that forty-two percent isn't a high enough number to annoy Mr. Logan," Querl corrected.

Lyle rolled his eyes and flopped down in a nearby chair. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to wipe the tiredness from his eyes and only half succeeding. "I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but… Sprock it, Brainy, I think he's doing it on purpose!" He turned beseeching eyes on his friend and tried not to think about the fact that he was almost whining.

"I've calculated a seventy-six percentile that Changeling could be doing that," Querl said agreeably, leaning companionably back against the wall nearest Lyle. "His sense of humor appears to be even more juvenile than yours. But I believe it mostly has to do with Mr. Logan's inability to believe that – how did he put it? – 'we all took our names from cheesy comic books.'" He blinked deliberately. "I'm not entirely sure what dairy products have to do with anything, but I performed a low priority search on 'comic books,' and the ones from the first half of the twentieth century appear to have superhero characters with names similar to ours."

Lyle just shook his head; only Brainy would actually do such pointless research. He said that he liked to keep his brain occupied and busy so as to avoid temptation to start a project that could end in another COMPUTO fiasco. And, well, Lyle had to concede that that was probably a good idea.

"What's really getting to me is having someone else around who's green – and also an idiot," Lyle said. Gar Logan wasn't the same shade of green as Brainy, but he **was** sarcastic and rude like Brainy; though he was decidedly more lecherous in his humor. Gar was also not nearly as cute as Brainy, but the way he and his lover, Cyborg, bantered with each other – the same way he and Brainy bickered with each other, only with more affectionate teasing, like an old married couple – caused a lump to form in Lyle's throat.

It made Lyle want things he had no business wanting unless he wanted to experience heartbreak. There was so much more tolerance for diversity and differences in the 30th Century than there had been in the 21st, and yet those two had managed to get together and make it work while Brainy was still oblivious to his every overture, even couched as they were in scientific jargon.

Maybe Brainy wasn't oblivious; it was more probable he was just ignoring Lyle's advances because he didn't feel the same way and didn't want to have to deal with what he felt would be the resulting emotional explosion if he told Lyle anything to that effect. Querl always did think people let their emotions get in the way of things; Lyle thought that was just because feelings weren't at all quantifiable and Querl had no idea how to handle his own emotions.

"I'm pleased you think so highly of my…advantages over our 21st Century counterparts," Querl said, quirking a not-entirely-humorous smile. "But I'm hardly the only green member of the Legion."

_No, just the hottest,_ Lyle didn't say. Or maybe Brainy was just trying to drive him **insane** by pretending to flirt back and thereby sprock with his head. "True," Lyle agreed noncommittally, frowning as he did some quick calculations in his head. "Wait… You said I'd be able to convince another seventeen percent to wear nametags?" he asked.

Brow quirking at the sudden reversal of subject, Querl nonetheless answered, "Yes."

Lyle had the feeling that Querl wasn't referring to him maybe being able to coerce Ayla into convincing Brin. "You mean I could convince **you** to wear a nametag?" The thought had almost not even occurred to him. He would have tried, of course, since Brainy was his best friend, but since Brainy's views on friendship were different from his, he never would have expected…

"Yes," Querl replied simply.

Lyle wanted to approach this cautiously, spend some actual time **using** his tenth level intelligence…but he'd never been very patient. "Why?" he asked, too loud, too blunt, too forceful, but he had to know.

Querl shrugged with an affected diffidence that Lyle could see was faked. "Because you are my friend," he proclaimed loftily.

"That wasn't enough to get you to help me play an April Fool's Day joke on Rokk," Lyle shot back.

Sniffing disdainfully, Querl said, "That enterprise was decidedly more juvenile than this one." He added, under his breath, "Not to say that this one **isn't** juvenile, just less so."

Lyle just raised one sandy-blond brow, urging Brainy to continue.

Querl fidgeted and ducked his head. "And I dislike it exceedingly when people make jokes at your expense," he mumbled.

Lyle blinked, and spoke before he thought. "And you wonder why I love you, Brainy." As he heard the words coming out of his mouth, he could have slapped himself. Only, most of his body was paralyzed from panic.

Querl's head cocked towards him, a slow smile spreading across his face, almost childlike in its wonder. "I hadn't, actually, wondered such a thing, though I gave thought to its reverse," he said, and it took a few moments for Lyle to realize that was Brainy's way of saying, 'I love you, too.'

Lyle was still unable to move, but instead of panic, he was now rigid with shock – and delight. "You…really?" he managed to get out through a throat tight with emotion.

"You are, in fact, the least forgettable person I know, and not just because you aggravate me so," Querl stated, and leaned down to press a firm, yet soft kiss against his lips.

Lyle kissed back on reflex, his higher brain functions shot off by the thought that, _Grife, I can't believe it's finally happening…_ He blinked as Querl pulled back, surprised and stunned. "Oh," he said dumbly. "I…thanks."

Smirking, Querl said, "You're welcome."

Lyle snorted.

"And while I would love to continue this–" And the part of Lyle that was still unable to believe the past sixty seconds had actually happened jumped for joy. He knew Brainy never lied unless he had to; it wasn't logical, "–we need to get back and check on our out-of-time guests. Before Bartholomew breaks something…yet again." Brainy rolled his eyes and sighed long-sufferingly.

Making an only slightly exaggerated noise of disappointment, Lyle said, "I know."

"I promise not to forget this happened," Querl said, and he sounded almost…reassuring there. Which meant that either Querl had been possessed by someone with a kinder personality – and a nice person wouldn't be able to stand living inside him – or that Querl was…serious about this.

Lyle was inclined to believe in the latter, and not just because that was what he **wanted** to believe. "I promise, too," he said, and pressed another quick kiss to Querl's lips before jumping up and heading for the door. The sooner they left, the sooner they could get back to solving the problem of getting their guests back to their own time.

And the sooner he and Brainy could get back to kissing.

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THE END


	3. Love Is Stupid

**Love Is Stupid**

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Rating: PG  
Summary: Pre-Vamp Issue #27: Brainy kissed Lyle in front of…everyone. That has turned out to be one of the least intelligent things he has ever done. Possibly also the most intelligent thing. Possibly.

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_Stupid, stupid, stupid…_

Querl Dox had never had occasion to call himself anything less than extremely intelligent before, but right now it seemed the most fitting taxonomy for his actions.

Whatever could have possibly possessed him to **kiss** Lyle Norg in front of half a dozen of their teammates? Even if it was on the cheek, and could possibly be construed as friendly… He was friendly to **no one**, and only an idiot wouldn't realize why he'd done it…

But aside from him and Lyle, the Legion was apparently **filled** with idiots. And he wasn't too sure about himself, right now. What could possibly have caused him to abandon what little sanity he could lay claim and reveal his feelings in such a manner?

Well, he knew the answer to that. But that wasn't helping him in his present situation. He had acted so rashly, without even **thinking**. He was so **stupid**.

…

Then again, an hour after their reunion, Lyle Norg had tracked him down to his lab, shoved him up against the wall, and proceeded to give **him** a kiss. One that could definitely **not** be considered simply friendly. One not at all chaste, with lots of lips, and teeth, and more tongue than any human should have, and…

Querl swallowed hard, and tried to will his unruly appendage into submission. Just like trying to will his ever-growing feelings for Lyle away, it didn't work. Maybe he wasn't stupid for having kissed Lyle, but this 'love' business certainly made him feel like a novice.

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THE END


	4. Random Factors

**Random Factors**

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Rating: PG  
Summary: Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important. It's also completely unpredictable, as Querl Dox has found out.

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_Love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important.  
_Lisa Hoffman

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Science is all about predictability. Querl Dox, Brainiac 5, never considers an experiment concluded until he has proven conclusively to himself – it is rare that anyone else's opinion has any bearing on his studies – that the outcome will always be the same. Predictable.

Brainy has conducted an almost immeasurable number of experiments in his life. Some were unsuccessful experiments. Theories that were tested, and though at first they proved to give the looked for result, when the experiment was repeated to check for consistency, there was none, and entirely new hypotheses had to be formed. A large amount of the experiments were mostly successful; hypotheses that had to be altered slightly in order to yield consistency of their results. A smaller number were entirely successful experiments, completely consistent, with no need for revised hypotheses.

Some experiments were **very** successful. Even if, at first, there seemed to be no inherent consistency to the effects that were caused, the ultimate outcomes were the same. Brainy hopes that this is one experiment that will follow in line with that.

Brainy has heard it said (and by Lyle Norg, Invisible Kid, which compounds its significant to his case) that love is like pi: natural, irrational, and very important.

Lyle is certainly as irrational as any human, albeit more intelligent than most. Brainy has had to allow for a certain randomness in his newest experiment because of those facts.

Traditionally (at least on Earth and Colu; other planets are not applicable in this case) when one kisses someone whom one has affection for, if the someone in question returns that affection, they will kiss back.

Brainy considers this to have been one of the more enjoyable hypotheses he will ever have to test. Though, really, if Lyle takes so long to respond the next time he kisses him, he might just have to restructure his experiment so as to give the other man warning beforehand. It would invalidate the experiment, and the outcomes might not be as assured, but then, emotions are not scientific, and unpredictability can be…rewarding.

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THE END


	5. Different Similarities

**Different Similarities**

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Rating: R  
Summary: One of Brainy's experiments went wrong. Again. Brainy undergoes a change, but he's rather more similar to his old self than one might expect.  
Notes: Cliché Gender-Switch fic.

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It wasn't much of a shock to the rest of the Legion when one of Brainy's experiments went wrong – that happened on average of once ever 0.42 days. It **was** quite a shock that the consequences of said failure turned Brainiac 5 into a girl.

No one was surprised when Brainy denied that a change in gender rendered him changed on any other level, and, once attired in a uniform made to fit his newly-curved form, went straight back to his lab to continue his duties – and to, presumably, try creating a way to revert himself to his normal, masculine self.

No one believed that Brainy was completely unaffected other than physically, but considering how Brainy disdained company even at the best of times, no one was willing to brave his wrath to try and offer him comfort.

No one except Lyle Norg, Brainy's lab 'assistant.'

The rest of the Legion thought they were working on a 'cure' for Brainy. The rest of the Legion was rather unintelligent compared to them.

"You know, you did change in one way, Querl," Lyle mused, licking tangy sweetness from his lips as he moved up from where he'd been investigating Brainy's new 'accessory'…to where he could play with Brainy's **other** new accessories.

While kissing him, of course.

Querl moaned into Lyle's mouth, then mewled as Lyle tweaked one of his nipples in passing. "Mmm…?" Querl said questioningly, the majority of his mind leaving rational thought behind so as to devote itself to pure pleasure.

Lyle smiled at the provocative picture that he'd painted of his lover, and then slid carefully inside of Querl.

Querl shivered and arched up as Lyle's cock slid deeper inside him. It felt completely different than anal sex, and yet oddly the same, which he supposed was to be expected since the act was essentially the same, only the…venue…differed. He had, at first, been understandably hesitant at this course of experimentation Lyle had proposed, but had finally decided that either way, it was Lyle, so at least the whole process would be familiar.

He was **very** glad that he hadn't let his reservations override his uncommon sense. The others thought that they were working on turning Brainy back to **his** old self. They'd get around to that…eventually. As soon as their other experiments were completed.

Lyle gave Querl a slow, seductive grin. "You taste completely different as a woman," he said, punctuating his statement with a quick thrust inside of her. "And you feel different, too."

Eyelids falling closed at the slow unfurling of pleasure inside him, Querl could only whimper his agreement. Some things **were** different, but thankfully the important things had remained the same.

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THE END


	6. Communication By Kisses

**Communication By Kisses**

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Rating: PG  
Summary: Brainy kissed Lyle. And that means more than anyone besides Lyle thinks it does.

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Everyone from Ultra Boy to Kid Quantum, both of whom had been in the room when it happened, had been surprised when Brainy kissed Lyle Norg. Most of them had written it off, mostly correctly, to Brainy having been severely worried about his best friend, and his not having slept for the forty-two hours previously while working feverishly on a way to bring Lyle back.

Lyle, however, having studied Coluan society for his own, admittedly personal, reasons, knew better. Coluans had very particular customs regarding kissing, or, in fact, physical contact of any kind.

Coluans society, all of which being of twelfth level intelligence, **understood** the idea behind the concept of the 'friendly' hug or kiss, but they did not practice it. For a Coluan, even one who had lived among myriad aliens species for several years, to not only hug someone, but also to kiss them – even if on the cheek – well, that meant quite a bit more than many Legionnaires realized.

That Brainy had hugged him, one might attribute to Querl having come to think of Lyle as a friend, or even a brother. Lyle knew better. For Coluans, physical touch was completely restricted to immediate family. Parent-child, spousal, and sibling interaction. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews were rarely included beyond what was strictly necessary for survival. The same went for friends, however close.

Coluans also never kissed anyone they weren't in a romantic relationship with. Not ever. That Brainy had kissed him, Lyle knew could mean only one thing.

Brainy had romantic feelings for him. Love, lust, or what have you, Brainy **liked** him, **that** way. But Querl had never said anything to him, which could mean one of three things:

1. Querl was physically attracted to him, but in no other way, and had decided that a sexual relationship without any accompanying feelings wasn't something he wanted to engage in.

2. Querl was mentally attracted to him, but in no other way, and had decided that a romantic relationship without any accompanying sexual aspects wasn't something he wanted to engage in.

3. Querl was both physically and mentally attracted to him, and had decided that he wasn't willing to risk their friendship by telling Lyle of his feelings, in case it turned out Lyle did not return them.

The first option was possible, but not entirely probable. Querl was his best friend, and Lyle knew that Querl thought much the same of him. The idea that Brainy could lust after him without even friendly feelings being added to the mix was highly unlikely.

The second option was more likely, but still didn't ring true. Brainy was, like all members of the Legion, a teenager. Coluan physiology was different from humans, but the difference was not as much when compared to other species. Brainy had gone through pubertal changes at around the same age as Lyle, and that meant much the same as it did for humans. Rumors about highly intelligent people focusing on their intellect to the exclusion of all else was laughable. Sex was ninety percent mental, after all.

The third option was possible, probable, and very likely true. For once fear had won out over Querl's typical Coluan blunt disregard for tact.

Lyle, however, was human. Humans had a long, if not graceful, history of running in where angels and mortals feared to tread.

And Lyle had never been one for beating around the bush.

Pressing the door buzzer to Brainy's quarters, Lyle waited impatiently for its occupant to answer it. When the doors slid open to reveal a half-awake, half-dressed Brainy, Lyle grinned. Querl looked cute in those purple plaid pajama pants – and nothing else.

Brainy blinked at him in the low nighttime lighting of the HQs corridor. "Invisible Kid? Has something happened?"

"Yes," Lyle said, and without any preamble or warning, leaned in to kiss Brainy – on the lips. Pulling back, he took in the sight of Querl's shocked face with smugness, and said, in Coluan, "I love you, too."

Coluan facial expressions were different from humans, too. They typically differed only in their intensity, however; the barest upturning of the lips was considered a full-fledged grin by Coluan standards.

The shy, yet not-at-all small smile that crossed Querl's face said it all.

Humans and Coluans might have had their differences…but understanding each other wasn't impossible, especially for people of their advanced intellects.

* * *

THE END


	7. Improbabilities

**Improbabilities**

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Rating: PG  
Summary: The probability that Querl has fallen for Lyle is rather high.

* * *

Everything was possible, but only some things were probable.

For instance, it was possible that Cosmic Boy could exercise his leadership qualities in a way which failed to grate on Brainy's nerves. It was highly improbable, however, that Rokk would ever do so, let alone in the near future.

It was also possible that Nura Nal was right about science just being another form of magic, instead of magic being another form of science, as was Querl's hypothesis. It was highly improbable that either one of them would ever be able to prove themselves right; especially Brainiac 5, as the scientific method was all about proving things **wrong**.

And it was entirely possible that no matter what he tried, and no matter how probable it was in theory, Querl would never be able to rid himself of Koko; the bothersome simian appeared to have latched onto him with a fierce stubbornness that rivaled that of Coluan Erasni Reverof offspring imprinting on their parents.

These were things that Querl knew, and had known almost since the first moment he'd conceived the questions about them in his mind. New bits of knowledge made their way through his brain everyday; only some of them were of such import that they would weave themselves through his very being, plague his every waking moment, and tinge his every thought with worry and yearning.

No matter that, in theory, it was possible for a man to be an island in a sea full of people, Querl Dox had never been able to entirely remove himself from society. Especially when society – generally in the form of one of the more gregarious Legionnaires – kept seeking him out. And not taking no for an answer when it came to pursing his friendship.

Invisible Kid was far from the friendliest person of his acquaintance, but he seemed infinitely more invested in befriending him than anyone Querl had ever met. Not that anyone else had ever tried very hard, if at all. And, as time went by and Lyle did not desert him for less caustic company, Querl had allowed himself to…grow used to Lyle. Accustomed to his presence. Nay, even to enjoy the companionship of the only human who could ever even hope to mostly match his intellect.

He'd never had a friend before Lyle. He supposed that was a possible reason for why he was so blindsided by his own feelings. Because, no matter how unlikely it would have seemed to him even a scant few weeks before, it was becoming apparent that aside from simply being possible, it was indeed probable that he'd…fallen in love with his best friend.

Well, apparently Nura's prediction about him marrying her in the future was wrong. It was not only possible, but also probable that he wouldn't be satisfied spending the rest of his life with anyone other than Lyle Norg.


	8. Names

**Names**

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Rating: G  
Summary: He hates being called Brainy…by anyone but Lyle.

* * *

He hates being called Brainy.

Brainiac, is, at least, a title, such as _Doctor_, one that both signifies his advanced intelligence and his family line. Querl is his given name, and he's never, actually, had anyone call him by it.

Save for his mother, once, presumably. When she named him at birth, before leaving him forever.

Dox is, again, a title. His…family name, for lack of better terminology, since his teammates in the Legion are more familial than anyone he might be related to by blood or technology.

However, his teammates in the Legion are also very…Earthly. Despite most of them not being of or from Earth, they still embrace the Earther's philosophy of life, and language, and…nicknames.

Thus, everyone calling him 'Brainy.' It sounds demeaning to him, just another adjective, denoting that he is intelligent – and not even the degree to which that is such. And no one listens to him when he asks them not to call him that.

He hates being called Brainy. If people had to stick him with a nickname (as if saying three syllables is **so** much more work than saying two) why couldn't it be B5? Grife, they could call him Querl, and he wouldn't hate that even one iota as much.

Though…sometimes he's not sure anyone around him remembers that they have real names, as opposed to code names. There is surely some deep-seated psychological reason behind that, but the softer sciences have never been his forte. All he needs to know is that, should he ever wish to spend time with his teammates in a more casual atmosphere, he won't have to agonize (as if he would) over the form of address to be used.

Charles Taine is Chuck, and Gear and Gates have accepted their new pseudonyms in place of their complex native names that most Legionnaires (Querl not among them, of course) have trouble pronouncing. Imra is generally Imra, but mostly only to Cosmic Boy and Live Wire. Live Wire is Garth only to his sister; likewise, Spark is Ayla only to her brother.

Violet is 'Vi,' not Salu or even Sal. She seems to be the only open that remembers that Kinetix's name is Zoe. Triad is generally the only one to refer to herselves as Lu – never Luornu – except for R. J. Brande. XS is Jenni only rarely, except, perhaps, to her time-displaced cousin. Chameleon likes being called 'Cham' and is the only one to call Sensor 'Jeka.' Ultra-Boy is called Jo half the time, but mostly by Apparition. He returns the favor, being the only one outside of her mother to call Tinya by name.

Lyle is always Invisible Kid, or even just Kid. He never seems to mind, but then, most of his influence lies in not being seen – or at least not remembered.

Brainiac 5 can't help but remember Lyle. Lyle was the one to first call him 'Brainy.'

He **hates** being called Brainy. But when Lyle says it…it sounds… Lyle is his friend, perhaps his best friend, and when Lyle calls him 'Brainy' with that affectionately exasperated tone to his voice, it sounds…

Nice.


	9. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

**Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps**

* * *

Rating: PG  
Summary: Perhaps Jazmin can convince Brainy to forgo his honeymoon. Perhaps not.

**

* * *

**

"If she was smart, she'd give up right now," Zoe said with an amused smirk.

"Mmm," Monstress agreed, hiding her own merriment at the scene before them. "Jazmin's smart, but not savvy, sister; otherwise she'd realize it's a futile hope."

"If she'd asked last week, perhaps…" Violet opined, hesitant as always to place blame, and preferring to avoid it where necessary. Especially when the blame was being laid at the feet of Kid Quantum or Cosmic Boy; it always reminded her of her own erstwhile stint as leader.

"Or next week," Sensor said, considering, arms wrapped protectively around her middle. "It's not like the refits on that part of the station couldn't wait until they get back. Chuck and Gear can handle it for right now." And keeping Brainy away from Lyle was a bad thing at the best of times. Now that things had finally died down in the wake of their return from being lost in the other galaxy…well, Brainy wasn't going to let anything or anyone stand in his way. In the year apart, the absence had made Querl's heart grow much fonder of his mate.

"Mm, but Jazmin doesn't like anything being out of place," Zoe rejoined as the aforementioned leader made impassioned pleas towards their resident Coluan. "She takes being leader very seriously." To make up for being romantically involved with her co-leader, she didn't say. None of them thought that either Kid Quantum or Cosmic wouldn't do their best for the Legion, but try convincing **her** of that.

"If only she'd take Brainy's threats to cut off the hot water to her quarters as seriously," Jeka joked, smiling cautiously. She still wasn't used to her new form, but was slowly becoming accustomed to its differences.

"You think it wouldn't be so hard to understand, what with her and Cosmic Boy." Monstress gave a girlish titter; her quarters were near enough to Rokk's so that she felt the vibrations whenever they got particularly 'frisky.' Ah, young love…it was so nice to see it, especially in their troubled times.

"Kid Quantum should just realize that she's not going to talk Brainy out of taking his honeymoon with Lyle," Violet said, nervously biting on her lower lip as she watched the former two's heated argument. "The longer she does, the more likely he is to add an extra week to it out of spite." It wasn't typically Brainy's way to be vengeful, but ever since his 'upgrade' and subsequent beginning of a relationship with the more open and emotionally available Lyle, he'd…changed a bit, mostly for the better. He'd actually been the one to insist on a wedding ceremony, instead of just signing the forms and sending them off to the UP Hall of Records as most people did these days.

"Green Legion would stay away from his lab that long?" Shikari asked curiously, blinking wide eyes up at the taller woman. She was right to be surprised; Brainy and Lyle had had a wedding ceremony, but all told, from the beginning of the vows to the end of the cake, it had taken less than an hour.

Candi couldn't help a snort, albeit a lady-like one as she watched Brainiac 5 say something cutting to Kid Quantum before finally storming off in an irate huff. "Perhaps not," she said, voicing all their thoughts.


	10. Free To Be Seen

**Free To Be Seen **

* * *

Rating: PG  
Summary: Lyle likes being invisible. But he never has been to Brainy.

* * *

Lyle likes being invisible. He doesn't have to try and pretend to fit in that way – he can just disappear. He's never fit in, not ever. Too smart, too outgoing, too weird, too free with his feelings and emotions…too much of a rebel.

Too **smart**, period, because he knows he's never fit in, and he realizes how little that matters in their regimented universe, a universe so focused on no one being out of line and everyone being the same that individuality is just a word in the dictionary, meaningless unless applied to history. Until the day when it's the statistical outliers – the Legion – that save the day from madness beyond the stars and prove that differences do matter, and they are important.

Even his parents never understood him, but that was okay, since he barely understood himself. All he knows is that he wants the chance to find out. And the Legion…the Legion understands more of his motivation than anyone ever has.

Except…even in the Legion he doesn't fit in. He used his brain to give himself his power, and it's only really useful for stealth. He can't take out villains with one punch, and he can't even share his invisibility without it taxing him. He spends most of his time on missions trying not to get killed so he can get back and 'hang out' with Brainy.

Somehow, no matter how stealthy he's being, Brainiac 5 always knows he's there. He knows Brainy is smarter than he is, and he feels a kind of giddy relief at finally not being the best at something; the fact that it's the person who helped him, who **believed** in him, is just icing on the cake. Cosmic Boy, the nass-head, isn't relying on him to dig them out of ditches, he's relying on Brainy, however much it galls him, and Lyle is the back-up that he doesn't even realize is there.

Lyle's okay with Cos being generally annoyed with him; Brainy's occasionally sarcastic and not-nearly-as-derogatory-as-one-thinks comments more than make up for it. He's never had a real friend before, and to Lyle, it's the greatest thing in the galaxy.

But because of the lack of interpersonal contact that everyone suffers from, it takes a while before Lyle realizes exactly what his feelings towards Brainiac 5 **are**. It was never hero worship, though there was a bit of appreciation for his intelligence; respect for someone whom he admired. And yet, Lyle still finds himself trying to impress Brainy, and he does manage it on a fairly regular basis.

It isn't until he finds himself getting irritated with Nura for all the time she spent trying to attract Brainy's attention that he realizes **why** he likes Querl.

Lyle Norg was intelligent. That didn't mean he was smart; especially when it came to emotions. He was better at emotions than Brainy, but then, so was Cosmic Boy.

It figured that Lyle's falling in love with the man who could be termed his best friend went just as unnoticed by him as he does by most people.

Most people…except Brainy. Querl Dox always saw the real him.

Maybe he isn't the only one feeling this way. And even if he is, well, Lyle's smart enough to figure out where Nura went wrong.

And he'll succeed. Because he wants it – wants Querl – more than anything since his freedom.


	11. Proper Protocols

**Proper Protocols**

* * *

Rating: PG  
Summary: Brainy gets ambushed by proper Coluan courtship procedure.  
Notes: Minor Tenchi Muyo crossover.

**

* * *

**

Lyle plunked the round plastic carrier on the lab table and waited. It only took a moment.

Brainiac 5 stared for a moment at the furry contents of the carrier and then eyed Lyle. "What is that?" he demanded with distaste.

"It's a cabbit, from the planet Jurai," Lyle responded promptly.

"And what is it doing **here**, in my lab?" Brainy asked.

Grinning, Lyle pressed the release button on the side of the container. The cabbit, brown with white paws and ear-tips, looked around her new home, sniffed inquisitively of the air, and then zeroed in on Brainy. The creature almost appeared to grin, and then hopped into Brainy's shoulder, purring ecstatically as she rubbed her face against Brainy's.

Querl Dox reflected that it just figured he'd at last managed to unload Koko on Lory and Proty, only to end up with a long-eared felinous creature taking his place. Looking up through his bangs into the wide violet eyes of the cabbit, Brainy sighed and turned to Lyle. "I do not want a pet, Lyle. In fact, I am most certain I have informed you of this numerous times."

Lyle nodded, the smile never leaving his face. "True, but you were lying, Brainy."

Brainiac 5 actually **spluttered**.

"You miss Koko more than you'd like to admit," Lyle diagnosed rightly. "You didn't like him bothering you in the lab, but the rest of the time, you seemed to actually find his presence…soothing. I caught you more than once actually petting him."

Feeling his face warm, Brainy turned away from Lyle – only to find the cabbit investigating the large crate Lyle had brought in moments before her case. "What is in that?"

"Her food for the day," Lyle replied with a smirk.

Brainy's eyes went flat. "That crate is large enough to hold a Terran elephant, Invisible Kid."

Lyle nodded. "Cabbits like to eat. Good thing, too, because if they didn't have all that fuel they wouldn't be able to turn into spaceships."

Brainy blinked. How, in the name of twelfth level intelligence, had he never heard of a biological creature that could turn into technology? "Cabbits are biomechanoid?" he asked in awe.

Lyle was smirking. Again. "I thought that would get your attention."

Brainy coughed and busied himself with releasing the catches on the side of the crate. It opened to reveal a giant mound of…carrots? Pink carrots, with the seeds embedded on the outside like in strawberries, but…carrots.

The cabbit made an ecstatic, "Meeeee-ahhh!" sound and pounced. Brainy's eyes widened as he noticed the pile of pink carrots growing pronouncedly shorter by the second, presumably being devoured from within.

Brainy was so entranced by the boggling sight that he almost didn't notice Lyle leaving. "Oh, and one more thing, Querl?" Lyle said as he lingered in the doorway.

It was the sound of his true name that got his attention. "Yes, Lyle?"

"The cabbit was deucedly hard to get hold of, so this had better count as a proper Coluan courtship gift, or I'm going to have to give up on you." With that, Lyle vacated Brainy's lab, leaving behind one extremely happy, if yet unnamed, cabbit, a rapidly diminishing pile of pink carrots, and one extremely confused, but not for much longer, Coluan.

"Courtship?" Brainy squeaked, mind working at light-speed. "Oh, grife, this means I'm going to have to study Earth mating rituals, doesn't it?"

The cabbit just continued munching her pink carrots, disdaining to answer.


	12. Emotional Computations

**Emotional Computations**

* * *

Rating: G  
Summary: Some things Brainy can use a computer to figure out. Lyle isn't one of those things.

_**

* * *

**_

Brainy's eyes narrowed at the blinking box on his computer screen that displayed the sum of his calculations. "This makes no logical sense," he muttered.

"What doesn't?" Lyle asked, without even looking up from his workstation across the room.

Brainiac 5 froze for all of two point three seconds. "I'm trying to design a logarithm that will predict human emotion," he answered vaguely. It wasn't entirely the truth, but it was close enough to pass muster.

He hoped. Lyle was too intelligent for Querl's own peace of mind.

Lyle snorted, shooting him a grin before going back to his own calculations. "Good luck with that, Brainy; it's about as possible as creating a perpetual motion machine or curing the common cold."

Brainy frowned, but did not deign to reply. His colleague was seemingly right after all. With a subvocal sigh, he turned back to his calculations.

No matter what date he input, or how fuzzy he made his logic, the computer always gave him the answer he'd been both hoping for and dreading since the day he realized what this strange lack of annoyance he felt towards one Lyle Norg was.

The computer had informed him that he was in love with Lyle. Which he'd figured out on his own, thank you very much.

The only thing the computer couldn't tell Querl was if **Lyle** was in love with **him**. Which, being that it was only the reverse of his previous query, should definitely be within the computer's capabilities.

Even if Human emotion was different from Coluan emotion, and vastly so.

Sighing, Brainy saved his final results, and moved on to another project, only needing to devote a small portion of his mind to the task of upgrading the Legion's security network. The rest of his mind he set to work on a plan to resolve his current problem. Querl decided that if he couldn't figure out the answer to his question using pure logic, then he would just have to logically figure out the best way to ask Lyle himself.

Emotions were so tedious, but some things just couldn't be computed.


	13. That's My Baby

**That's My Baby**

* * *

Rating: PG-13  
Summary: M-PREG. Brainy decides it's high time he passed on his genetic genius. He probably should have talked to Lyle about it first, and he definitely shouldn't have mixed up the Petri dishes.

* * *

"You knocked me up, you sprocking bastard!"

Hearing those words, accompanied by a thrown Omnicom, was not the way Brainy had expected to be greeted upon returning to his and Lyle's new shared quarters.

It just proved his theorem that humans were completely unpredictable.

Staring placidly at his enraged lover, Querl Dox sifted through his mental thesaurus of Earth slang phrases for the meaning of Lyle's invective. He'd…gotten Lyle pregnant? How…?

And then it hit him, with the force of a sun going supernova.

Brainy blinked, swallowed, and grimaced as acid started roiling in his stomach. "Oh," he said.

"'Oh'?" Lyle snarled, face twisted in a rictus of anger. "Is that all you have to say?"

"I'm…sorry?" Brainy offered, the hesitation more from the slow speed of his brilliant brain than because he was trying to be funny.

Despite knowing that Querl never 'tried to be funny', Lyle understand was not up to figuring out what was going on with his lover. "You should be! I'm a **man**, Brainy; I'm not **supposed** to carry children!"

"You're human," Brainy corrected. "On Colu, such an enterprise is not as rare as it is on Earth." Not common, no, but that was because, while a large percentage of Coluan offspring were convinced in utero, the fetus was removed from the host mother at the end of the first month and placed in an incubation chamber. Those children created in Petri dishes were moved to the chambers immediately upon implantation. The incubation chambers maximized the possibility of a full-term healthy offspring being 'born'. Rare was it that a member of an all-male couple chose to have the fetus implanted in himself, though it did happen.

Brainy had **intended** for his offspring to end up in the incubation chamber in his lab. However, in all the confusion of Titan's sun going Nova – or appearing to; blasted space dragons and their need to spawn in yellow giants – Brainy must have mixed up the dish with his and Lyle's combined DNA and the one with the cure for the common cold.

It would explain why Lyle had still had a runny nose and a fever for several days after he'd taken the 'cure'. Brainy had just thought that something about the serum Lyle had created for his invisibility had rendered the cure null and void.

Brainiac 5 did not often have chance to think such things, but: he'd been wrong. He'd made an extremely erroneous assumption. Two, actually; he probably should have talked to Lyle about the possibility of conceiving offspring before he'd done it.

Lyle's mouth opened and closed several times, as if trying to capture the words he was looking for from the very air. "So you're saying you did this to me on **purpose**?"

Wincing at the shrill note Lyle's question ended on, Brainy nonetheless answered, "Not as such, but essentially…yes." He rushed to add, seeing Lyle's face become a deep red color reminiscent of a bonfire, "I did not mean to impregnate **you**, but I did combine our DNA to create zygotes."

"You didn't mean to knock me up," Lyle said in the deadpan, monotone voice evocative of that time the previous spring when Cosmic Boy had said to Star Boy 'Let me get this straight: you didn't **mean** to cause that intergalactic incident on Imsk?' "Were you planning on carrying our spawn **yourself**?" he demanded, punctuating his angry retort with a jab of his finger to Brainy's chest.

Mentally Querl objected to having his offspring referred to as 'spawn', but outwardly he only said, "No. I planned on the fetus developing in an incubation chamber, as a great number of Coluan children are." He hadn't been, but then, the less he thought about his formerly absent and now-dead mother, the better for his sanity.

He was the smartest person in the galaxy, and he had a prescription for anti-depressants. That was depressing in and of itself.

Lyle sighed, apparently having given up on his righteous anger in favor of not asking more questions which would only get him even more confusing answers. "Right. Whatever. Since your original plan didn't work, now you're going to have to nurse me through the next six months or so of this…pregnancy." He glared at Brainy with so much heat, Querl actually found himself quailing at the sight of his normally easy-going lover. "And you will figure out the most painless way to remove…our child…from my body when it comes time for it to be born." He turned to go, before looking back at Brainy. "Oh, and one more thing: you owe me as many blowjobs as I can stand for the rest of forever for putting me through this."

Brainy only nodded; the specifics of placating one's paramour was a galaxy-wide phenomenon, and he knew it was best to apologize early and often when he was in the wrong (which was far more frequently than he liked) and to just nod and go along with whatever was said when Lyle was mad at him (which happened even more frequently than him being wrong, and was the only thing worse than that situation in and of itself).

It wasn't the possibility of his jaw going numb from the exceedingly large amounts of fellatio he'd be performing in the near future that had Brainy wincing, however. He just didn't know how or when he should tell Lyle the truth: that the Petri dish that had held their offspring had had four fertilized eggs, two of each gender. Brainy had only intended on gestating one in the incubation tube, but had thought it prudent to make 'spares' in case the first fetus didn't take.

Querl had also eventually hoped on giving their first child a sibling; he just hadn't planned for all of them to be born at once.

Sighing, Brainy followed behind his steaming lover at a discrete pace. However much he hadn't intended this to happen this way, it had. Hopefully the other father of his children would have finished acting childishly by the time their babies were ready to be born.


	14. Birthday Surprises

**Birthday Surprises**

* * *

Rating: PG  
Summary: Lyle's got a present for Brainy. It **isn't** for a winter holiday, however.

* * *

After four years spent in the Legion of Super-Heroes, Brainiac 5 was not unaccustomed to receiving presents from various members of said team at the end of the Earth calendar year. Normally, however, they were accompanied by a cheery 'Happy Holidays!' a simple 'Seasons' Greetings!' or the ever-popular and mostly-human traditional 'Merry Christmas'. Once, long ago, Leviathan had wished him a 'Happy Hanukah'.

While Querl had never known that Gim Allon was Jewish, he had also never received a present from Lyle Norg in person. And Invisible Kid had certainly never said, "Happy birthday, Brainy," to him before, whilst presenting him with said gift. Querl was certain he would have remembered.

"How did you–?" Querl started to ask, more confused than he normally allowed himself to appear.

Lyle shrugged and looked discomfited, eyes focused on the gaily-wrapped box clutched in Brainy's hands. "After the whole…thing…with…with your mother, I took a deeper look into your file."

Hunching in on himself ever-so-slightly, hands clenching spasmodically on the present, Brainy said, "Ah." It wasn't a time in his life he liked to remember – his mother trying to kill him was only slightly more horrific than spending the 'Most wonderful time of the year' – as that one song said – remembering how his mother hadn't wanted him, was depressing.

"Open it," Lyle encouraged quietly.

And Querl, unable to conscience the fact that it could make him feel **worse**, did so.

At first glance, the small object lying on the crumpled red paper and green bow would appear to be a simple data cube. Brainiac 5, knowing there had to be more to it, activated the cube, and stared, awed. Pictures of his teammates, both candid and posed, flashed across the sides of the cube in five-second intervals, just long enough for him to get a good look at them. He only needed a minute to be surprised at how often people had taken pictures of him, and of often he appeared to be happy in those pictures.

"Thank you," Querl offered quietly, sincerely touched, both by the gift itself, and by what it meant – Lyle considered him more than a teammate.

Actually, going by the pictures, so did quite a few of his other…colleagues. His friends, he supposed; the thought made him feel oddly warm inside, as impossible as such biofeedback was.

"You're welcome," Lyle responded, voice equally as soft.

It was only when the cube flashed of picture of the two of them, heads bent over some project, that Brainy felt confident enough to broach the subject. "I'm sorry I missed your birthday," he said, knowing the other boy's had been six weeks previous. Birthdays were only important to Coluans in that they marked the passage of time. They weren't **celebrated** at all.

Querl had never before bothered to think that by following his own species' traditions, he'd been ignoring Lyle's…and, quite possibly, hurting him in some way, however small and unmeant.

"That's alright," Lyle said magnanimously, with a small shrug of his shoulders. He grinned slightly. "You can get me something for New Year's'."

Frowning at his friend, knowing that the New Year was, according to the EarthGov calendar, just two days away, Querl asked, "How am I supposed to find something appropriate on such short notice?" He wasn't **good** with emotional things, and a present that would be such an emotional equivalent of Lyle's gift to him would take him a great deal of time to think of. At least a week, probably two, possibly even a month.

Why couldn't Lyle have said Valentine's Day?

Lyle's grin widened, a suspicious sparkle lighting his eyes. Brainy heard warning klaxons go off in his head. "Oh, you don't need to. I already know what I want."

Despite his former happiness, Querl now found himself wary. Trepidation rampaging through his heart, Brainy nonetheless spat out a terse, "What?"

Leaning close enough until they were breathing in each other's exhalations, Lyle whispered, "Mistletoe."

It was in that moment that Querl realized **exactly** what Lyle had been saying with his gift. Also, the unfortunate fact that he would **still** have to find Lyle a gift for Valentine's Day.

Querl responded accordingly – by kissing Lyle, and deciding to just get him several pounds of Bgzltian chocolates. He now had better things to do with his spare time than think of gifts to give.

* * *

THE END


	15. Coluan Quirkiness

**Coluan Quirkiness **

* * *

Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Twenty random facts about Querl Dox. For added fun, try to see how many Lyle/Brainy stories (both mine and not) I reference.

* * *

1. Querl didn't know what to think when he was 'asked' to join the Legion. Science was the be-all and end-all of his existence. Being a 'superhero' had never entered his thoughts, not even when he'd gone over the history of his progenitors, one of whom was a L.E.G.I.O.N. officer before becoming a rebel, and an earlier one of whom was a supervillain.

But if the head of the UP thought he could do it…well, who was he to disappoint them? And their state-of-the-art laboratories?

2. Most of the other Legionnaires seemed to be put off by his attitude. This kept them from touching him all the time, as humans and various other species are wont to do.

When Superboy showed up, with his Tactile Telekinesis, Querl got…not precisely scared, but someone who could touch him from **across a room** without his permission was…not someone he wanted touching him.

In hindsight, perhaps he made too big a deal of it. The forcefield belt came in handy, though, even if he did eventually get his own forcefield powers.

3. Coluans don't touch much. At least not physically. When Querl was banned from the Sleepnet, he…lost something. The Sleepnet became like a giant mental orgy that he was no longer invited to, but always aware of, because everyone else on his home planet still was invited.

Well…maybe not an orgy. A giant mental 'cuddle party' then. But when he was banned from them, not only did he develop occasionally recurrent episodes of insomnia, but he also stopped trying to tone down his arrogance in his genius so as to make socialization easier.

Then he started to make friends in the Legion, and…well, a habit is easy to fall into, but getting rid of it is eleven point nine times harder. But it's worth striving for, so he does.

4. He doesn't actually hate Bartholomew Allen. Querl just finds him so sprocking annoying that he can't think when he's around him, which annoys him even further. To have that kind of intellect – a level eight, **at least**; he's never been able to get Bart to stay still long enough for intensive tests – in the mind of a hyperactive teenager toddler is just…criminal.

5. It took precisely four months, three days, seven hours and eight minutes for Querl to get to know Lyle well enough to figure out that there was no way Chameleon **didn't** understand Interlac. For one thing, the amount of Durlanese Querl managed to pick up in that time indicated that when Reep and Lyle were 'talking' to each other, they occasionally made jokes about the other team members – which Lyle 'translated' as 'helpful' comments on their situation.

For another, Lyle was a fantastic liar – but Querl was an even better one, and it didn't take him long to figure out Lyle's 'tells'.

6. Querl had become very good at lying to others – and himself – by the time he was four years of age. He knew his mother hadn't wanted him, and the people charged with his care on Colu seemed to find him alternately frustrating, worrisome and annoying.

Querl told himself that they were just jealous he was smarter than them, and anyway, he didn't need **their** help, or their…friendship.

7. Querl would never say it, but it's good to be working with Rond Vidar again. On Talus, he was the only person who didn't act like Brainiac 5 was a walking time bomb towards technology.

Even though, in his teenage impetuousness, he…kind of was.

Well, he's grown up a bit now (though he's still a teenager), and he blows up quite a few less labs these days, so that's all good. And Rond is there to handle the more annoying cases sent labwards, such as Lori Morning's former accelerated aging. It leaves Brainy more time for important work.

8. When Querl was evolved into Brainiac 5.1, for a time he reveled in being so open with his feelings. But then he started to feel as if he was…faking it. This emotional connect to other people had been something he'd lacked since he was banned from the Sleepnet; even being allowed back hadn't awoken it. But it wasn't him. Who he was, was a young man who was brash, not very good with people, but excellent with technology, and very lacking in socialization skills. To have all of his people problems just solved for him smacked of cheating.

And anyway, the people he was truly closest to didn't seem to need him to change in order for them to like him.

9. Querl's favorite food is a type of Durlan fruit. Its name is unpronounceable by the Coluan tongue, but it is exceedingly delicious. The outer skin is a mottled green, and the inside is purple; Querl first decided to try because it looked like his uniform, which, admittedly, was a rather whimsical reason, but he's never regretted it.

He gives in to whimsy a lot more these days, too.

10. Querl's name means 'Strength of Heart' in Coluan. He's always wondered (since he was a month old and capable of intense mental thought) why his mother gifted him with that name.

Facing down Lyrl Dox in her attempt to kill him, Querl finally decides that his name is, unlike previously thought, most appropriate.

11. Querl has no idea who his paternal genetic donor is. After his mother's death, he decides it's better that he doesn't.

12. Lyle was right – he did miss having Koko around. But the manic monkey was almost as annoying as Bart, and what he really missed was having a pet, not that **specific** simian. It's why he got himself a rasta cat on his next trip to Titan. They, like all felines, are independent and extremely hygienic, plus the rasta cat is also very empathic and…well, 'cuddly' for lack of a better word.

Brainy felt validated in his choice when Ryl – which meant 'Freethinking' in Coluan – took to Lyle like a bird to the air, yet shunned some of the more annoying (read: hyper and/or gregarious) Legionnaires, like Lori and Triad.

It didn't hurt that her deep purple fur matched his uniform perfectly.

13. When he and a few of the other Legionnaires were lost in the other universe, Querl focused all his energy on getting them home. Because even if home was where the heart was, only part of his was with him.

When they discovered that Apparition was **really** an apparition, and Imra and Garth were the only couple still together, it made him realize that he'd been jealous of the two couples, for having something in each other that he could never hope to possess.

It also brought home to Querl how much he had come to love the people he lived and worked with.

Love had become more important to him than logic.

14. Querl really doesn't quite know what possessed him to kiss Lyle that one time. He was relieved that his…friend, his…best friend…was safe and sound, of course, but…

It seems this was one time when his subconscious mind was way ahead of the rest of him on what he really wanted.

15. Has nightmares sometimes about when his teammates were caught by the Blight. When he Lyle starting pursuing a relationship, the ending of the dream changed. Instead of himself being Blighted, Lyle never came back after the Blight was defeated.

16. The first time he and Lyle make love, Querl changes his mind about preferring pure theory over practical applications of data. At least, in some cases.

17. Querl really wishes he had at least one family member that cared about him. Then Lyle asks him to marry him, and Querl thinks that it's better if he makes his own family…here in the Legion.

They plan the wedding for a week later. The ceremony goes off without a hitch, but the reception is interrupted by an outbreak of a mitochondrian fever on Xanthu. Fortunately, neither Lyle nor Querl are needed.

And luckily, news of the fever's cure and no demise of those ill is what interrupts the fourth day of their honeymoon.

18. Lyle was right when he said that Querl had started to think of COMPUTO as a son. But with his…son…gone, it was easier to try and forget those nascent paternal feelings. He managed it for a few months – until the elders of Colu brought up the fact that he had not yet passed on his genes. They were in the midst of selecting an appropriate female for him to reproduce with.

Which meant that Querl had a very short amount of time in which to figure out how to combine his and Lyle's genes into a child – one with a twelfth-level intellect, of course. The intellect would have to be adjusted for, of course; no child of his was going to be an outcast on his homeworld because he or she wasn't smart enough.

19. Querl spent three hours agonizing over what sex to make the child before finally deciding to leave it up to chance. His mother may have been a sociopath, but his male progenitors weren't much better.

He and Lyle would be there for their child, and that will, hopefully, make all the difference.

20. They name their daughter Rylea, 'Great Gift', and consider her perfect. She has Querl's skin color, only a few shades lighter, and Lyle's hair color, only a few shades darker. Her eyes are, of course, green, and she smiles easily and brightly.

She says her first word to them both when she's five days old.

It's 'Dadas'.

* * *

THE END


	16. Be Mine, Brainy?

**Be Mine, Brainy?**

* * *

Rating: PG  
Summary: Lyle's got a question for Querl.

* * *

Wednesday, February 14th, 3007. It was the anniversary of an ancient Earth holiday known as 'St. Valentines Day.' A day for romance.

A day on which Lyle Norg planned to declare his feelings for the object of his affections. If he could find him. Lyle was on the prowl, running down his elusive prey. …Well, not really. 99.97 of the time during daylight hours, Brainiac 5 could be found in his lab, so there was no need to search for him.

Still, he was headed towards Brainy's lab with intent. Romantic intent.

Lyle poked just his head, and cautiously (as was only prudent), around the door of Brainy's lab. Anyone with sense just knew that was practical, with all the explosive, or could-be-explosive-in-his-hands things Brainy worked with. After ascertaining that there weren't any scarily bubbling beakers or sparking wires or other typical frights of Brainy's lab – that, in fact, Brainy was working quietly at the computer – he dared to venture, "Brainy?"

Brainy continued to type rapidly on his computer, undoubtedly doing most of the calculations and coding in his head and transferring them via his own shorthand to the computer screen before him. "Mmm?" he finally grunted.

Querl was distracted; that was good. "How do Coluans conduct courting rituals?" Lyle asked with feigned casualness, as he came further into the room.

Normally Querl would have noticed the faked nonchalance, however, most of his attention at that moment was focused on his calculations. "The direct approach is appreciated by most of my brethren," he replied absently. His typing sped up for almost a minute, and when he finally slowed down, he added, "The Sleepnet actually has quite a large personals section."

A bit nonplussed at that second piece of evidence, Lyle nevertheless went forward into the breech. True, stealth and subtlety was his stock and trade, but the being able to be blunt in this instance was a relief. "But, oh, say…someone coming up to someone else and saying, "I like you, would you go out with me?" without any preliminaries would be perfectly acceptable to a Coluan?"

Nodding vaguely, he confirmed, "Yes, quite." He peered closer at the calculations on his screen, before doing a double-take. "What?" He turned to stare bemusedly at Lyle. "Lyle, what did you…"

Hiding his smirk, Lyle leaned down to place a chaste kiss on those perfectly parted green lips. He pulled back just enough to look Querl in the eye and say, "I like you, Brainy. Go out with me?"

Those sparkling green eyes of Brainy's widened, then a soft blue blush spread across his cheeks. "I…yes," he agreed with a smile.

Lyle smiled back. And if it was more of a smirk at his plan having gone off perfectly, well…Brainy would never know.

And what Brainy didn't know, he couldn't use as a reason to get revenge upon Lyle.

* * *

THE END


	17. In Sickness And In Health

In Sickness And In Health

**In Sickness And In Health**

* * *

Rating: PG  
Summary: Pre-slash. Lyle gets sick. Querl goes out of his way to take care of him.

* * *

In the absence of Doctor Gym'll, occasionally one of the Legionnaires would be brave enough – or foolhardy enough – to ask Brainiac 5 for his assistance.

Gym'll was currently in residence, but Lyle preferred the caustic wit of his best friend to the Legion doctor's abrasiveness. Besides, Brainy had **already** seen him in assorted states of dishabille and varying levels of humiliation.

"I feel like I'm dying," Lyle croaked through a throat burning hotter than his raging four-degree fever.

"This is an exaggeration, correct?" Brainy asked. The glint in his eye was worry, but it was only there for those who know how to look – never mind knowing to look to begin with.

"Not by much," Lyle whispered. In addition to the heat – and the unslakable thirst that was a byproduct of his body's internal inferno – of his body, his head was pounding, his vision was blurry, he felt weaker than a Rimborian ratling, and on top of that, just that morning, he'd woken up with the most maddening itch on his back.

An itch that was quickly spreading to the rest of his body.

The itch was so bad that Lyle didn't even notice when Brainy took blood and skin samples for testing. Even the soft, hypo-allergenic and bio-hygienic bedding on the one med-bed in Brainy's lab (used mostly for storing various things, like Brainy's extra lab coats and whatever his current personal project was, but also for when Brainy needed to stay overnight to keep an eye on something volatile) abraded his skin, making the itch burn even hotter.

Querl quickly ran a computer analysis on the samples, and soon had an answer as to why his best friend was suffering not four yards from him.

"What you have, Invisible Kid," Brainiac 5 pronounced after approximately sixteen minutes, "is a viral infection that you somehow caught a faint strain of back in the twenty-first century. It has lain dormant in your body for these past few months, but your recent surge in physical activity, coupled with your lack of sleep, has worn your immune system down, and the infection has taken hold. Quite vigorously, it appears." He finished mixing up the intravenous lotion he determined to be the first step in caring for Lyle, and injected the pinkish substance into Lyle's overworked veins, noting with pride the way his friend's face almost instantly relaxed as the itch died down.

"How d'you know i's fr'm twenny-firs' cenury?" Lyle asked groggily, almost blissed out as the insane itch receded from his awareness.

"Because, Lyle, no one on Earth or any other planet has had the chicken pox for over eight hundred years," Querl told him, not bothering to hide the hint of a smile lurking near his mouth. The information he'd found on the Galactic Infolink indicated that chicken pox was typically a children's disease.

"Sounds shtupid," Lyle slurred as he started to drowse. The internal analgesic Querl had given him had also contained a soporific.

"Feels worse, I'm sure," Querl commiserated kindly – at least as much as he ever offered sympathy. Which, with Lyle, was about seven point four percent more often than with any other member of the Legion. Including the recently departed Koko.

Having tamed the itch, Querl now need to give Lyle something for his fever, before it raged out of control. Ever since Lyle had injected himself with his invisibility serum, his core temperature ran a tad high, at ninety-nine, but a temperature of one hundred and two point five was much too high, and near approaching delirium levels.

Something needed to be done to help Lyle heal – and Brainiac 5 was just the person to do it.

"Where ya goin'?" Lyle roused himself enough to ask, blinking up at him in sleepy confusion.

"Nowhere," Querl answered softly, covering Lyle with a spare lab coat, and then heading towards his lab work. He intended on moving all of his less important projects even further down the list, and postponing his more urgent ones, so that he could finish seeing to Lyle's needs.

Curling up into the Brainy-scented garment, eyelids heavier with each moment, Lyle nonetheless protested, "Ya don't have ta stay."

"True, but…" Querl sighed and hung his head over his beakers, unable to think of a less…saccharine way to put his feelings. "I want to." It was part of being friends, after all; looking after one another. Lyle needed him, so…he stayed.

"L'v ya, too," Lyle mumbled, whispered words ending on a snore.

The smile that kept jumping up onto Brainiac 5's face for the rest of the day in turns surprised and worried various members of the Legion even more so than Invisible Kid's having developed an eradicated – and very contagious – disease.

They needn't have worried, however; it was just going to happen more and more often as Lyle and Brainy grew closer. Eventually, maybe, they'd even get around to admitting to their feelings, and start dating.

Eventually.

* * *

THE END


End file.
